Simone meets the pizza guy

“The Olympics,” tweeted the tweeter, “would be a hell of a lot more interesting if every event final included one random average dude. Just for comparison. Some guy who just finished his pizza and hopped up off the couch, and now he’s out there doing the thing.”

God I love the Twitter. 

Just for comparison, it said. Just to show the rest of us how goddamn amazing it is — and how lucky we are to park our lazy, overcritical asses on the couch, watch, and complain — when someone performs at an elite level of sport.

Hey Marvin! You’re up next on the vault.
(pizzamarketplace.com)

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Sons and feminism and raising ’em right

Review: How to Raise a Feminist Son by Sonora Jha, PhD
Sasquatch Press USA, Penguin Random House India, 2021
Goodreads: 4.46 / 5

“Mind if I borrow that opening line?”

Dr. Sonora Jha glanced up at me, taken aback. Clearly this tall old white man, a goofy grin pasted on his face, was oblivious to his own privilege. And he was messing with her.

She was fresh off her keynote speech at a writers’ conference and I was just one among dozens of eager fans who tried to catch her ear as she worked her way out the door. But she paused with a gracious smile. Continue reading “Sons and feminism and raising ’em right”

Poetry in the Dirt

Wrigley Field

Not many years ago, my late father woke me up at 3AM. He’d been gone nearly a decade by then. But his “Hey! Billy! Write this down!” yanked me from bed, and I ran to the kitchen only to find myself alone, Dad still long dead, and my fingers typing five stanzas he’d dictated to me as I slept.

But I’m no poet.

With that in mind, my daughter – she’s my daughter and my muse – convinced me in 2019 to do this poetry challenge called EscApril. Writers use that happy spring month to crank out 30 poems in 30 days, with a daily prompt to get started. I had silly fun with it, and did it again last year in the second month of lockdown. That made it extra fun.

Then she asked if I planned to do EscApril again this year.

This time I actually challenged myself. This time I decided all 30 poems would relate to themes, characters, and scenes in Diamonds and Dirt. …while using the prompts given by The EscApril People. Whoever they are.

It’s baseball, lies, abuse, revenge… fun stuff. Enjoy responsibly.

Poetry? Huh?

 

 

Dreams of Dad

If You Build It… by Dwier Brown
…A book about fathers, fate, and Field of Dreams

Get your Kleenex. Seriously.

Well of course I loved it. The movie, I mean. And of course I cried. Like most American men, hell, most anyone male or female anywhere, I always find a reason, maybe many reasons, to just break down at that final scene.

But there’s something extra for me.

When John Kinsella – played by Dwier Brown, in a 5-minute scene that transcends all the rest of his 35-year acting career put together – stands up from his crouch to turn and look at Kevin Costner’s Ray, well, that’s where it hits the deepest. Continue reading “Dreams of Dad”

Ex-Mariner of the Year is NOT…

Kevin Mather, former Mariner CEO, goes off the rails

…this guy. But you’d think so, right? After four days of turmoil from the Bellevue Breakfast Rotary to youtube to a curious fan named Eric Hess (@SeattleSunDvl) into the Twittersphere to OMG he didn’t really say that to #ByeFelicia for a guy at the top of the Mariners power pyramid – after all that, he seemed like the obvious pick. For sure… now that he’s an ex-Mariner.

But the Ex-Mariner Committee had to put the whole thing on pause, even with the contest decided and the announcement prepared (spoiler: Caribbean Series Champs). It’s just gonna have to wait.

Continue reading “Ex-Mariner of the Year is NOT…”

Ex-Mariner of the Year: Ross Eversoles Bracket

The page is brown. It’s fifty years old, of course, half a century since I slid a buck and a quarter of lawn mowing money across the counter in Jess Ruttles’ Port Gamble General Store, when Mom turned her back to grab a couple cans of chili. Half a century since a book changed me forever.

No filter. The page has faded but the final words of Ball Four are as true as ever. Copyright – the late Jim Bouton.

It’s brown with age, and it’s brown from flipping to the end countless times in those fifty years.

“…would I do that? When it’s over for me, would I be hanging on with the Ross Eversoles?”

Do you think, when Jim Bouton wrote those words, paused, held his pen over the paper, deciding what to write next… Do you think he knew they’d lead into the greatest closing line of any book ever?

Continue reading “Ex-Mariner of the Year: Ross Eversoles Bracket”

Ex-Mariner of the Year — MLB postseason bracket

Our home team boys packed up their stuff and left town in September. But 25 ex-Mariners didn’t go home when the 2020 postseason started. Instead, gracing the rosters of new squads, they girded their respective loins for a World Series run. Only one would earn the ring. But would that be enough to garner the coveted Ex-Mariner of the Year (Xmoty)? Let’s revisit the top candidates.

Felix: You think they do this kinda stuff in Atlanta?

Alert and devoted reader Steve from Spokane suggested way back in August that the opted-out Felix Hernandez was a fabulous candidate for Xmoty honors. But Steve, we said, Felix didn’t even play this year. Took himself off the roster. It was the Rona. Exactly, said Steve. And if Atlanta goes deep in October without him, doesn’t he deserve recognition for staying the hell out of the way? Great point, Steve. The Braves went on to lead the NLCS 3 games to 1 but coughed up the series to the Dodgers. How might that have played with the King in the house? Steve seems to know the answer. We’re not so sure over here.

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Ex-Mariner of the Year: Offshore Bonus Bracket

Today we find more Ex-Mariner treasure – those not named Abraham, Martín, or Juan (or Robi) – among distant oceans and byways of offshore baseball.

Aguilas Cibaenas of the Dominican Winter League (LIDOM) is locked in a seven-game semifinal Dominican Series battle with los Toros del Este. This year’s Aguilas squad included ex-Mariner Vidal Nuno III, he of 8-21 over five MLB teams in six seasons. Nuno didn’t make the Aguilas’ playoff roster.

Fermin: You can buy this card on Amazon for $23.74.

But maybe you’ve heard of the Aguilas’ manager. A guy named Felix Fermin. El Gato was a stalwart Mariner middle infielder in the 1994-95 glory years. He’s been on the job since 2000, with a 2-year break to skipper los Gigantes de Cibao. But the Aguilas got him back, he’s an icon of Dominican ball, and he’s looking to add another title to his trophy shelf.

Meanwhile, over on the Toros, where they do these awesome clubhouse victory celebrations (if you click on just one link in this post, you gotta click this one) , recent ex-M Hunter Strickland has stepped off the field and serves as a pitching coach. And when you think about it, who wouldn’t want to coach for The Bulls of the East?

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Ex-Mariner of the Year, Abraham-Martín-Juan bracket

First in a series: vote now!

If you’re not into Sixties folk/protest memes, try this before reading:

Wouldn’t you know. Here in Seattle, we just looked around, they were gone. And now they’re back. Back on the diamond. In another country.

In their bids to succeed Fernando Rodney and his 2019 World Series ring as 2020’s greatest ex-Mariner, four of our old favorites have worked their way into contention. Please attempt to sing along in Dion Marucci’s voice and melody: Continue reading “Ex-Mariner of the Year, Abraham-Martín-Juan bracket”

This news is too damn real

It was that moment. That surreal moment.

You wake up, take a break in the real world from that novel you’re writing… and the real world creeps right into the novel, or the fiction creeps into the news, or what the hell just happened? 

Amy Carnell comes up on the page. And she comes up on the TV screen. But not for the reason you’d think. The former youth soccer sensation, later an exec with the Sounders and the Seattle Reign, alleges sexual abuse twenty years ago by her youth coach.  


Carnell’s story featured by Hana Kim, Q13
At top: Creeper. (Seattle Times/Amy Carnell)

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