Simone meets the pizza guy

“The Olympics,” tweeted the tweeter, “would be a hell of a lot more interesting if every event final included one random average dude. Just for comparison. Some guy who just finished his pizza and hopped up off the couch, and now he’s out there doing the thing.”

God I love the Twitter. 

Just for comparison, it said. Just to show the rest of us how goddamn amazing it is — and how lucky we are to park our lazy, overcritical asses on the couch, watch, and complain — when someone performs at an elite level of sport.

Hey Marvin! You’re up next on the vault.
(pizzamarketplace.com)

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Dear Aly Raisman’s mom…

Dear Lynn Raisman,

That interview blew us away. Not just Aly demanding to know why USA Gym continues to let her down, but the face-to-face with you… Sixty Minutes in your kitchen, millions of Americans peering at you as TV guests in your home, and you were so matter-of-fact. There was no rage there, no clawing at the camera demanding blood for what that man did to your daughter.

Where did you bury it? What little lockbox in your brain was holding all those thoughts in there, just for safekeeping? You had to stay proper. It was an interview, and you had to be honest, but you were still the hostess. And you’re still… well… you’re Lynn Raisman. You’re that lady…

Sweet, sensational, viral. Mom and dad can’t keep still while Aly Raisman competes. photo: Today Show, NBC

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