Tag: ex Mariners

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Something about Mary…

“I charge for that, y’know.”

Maybe Mary was joking, or maybe she just didn’t want her picture taken. Or maybe she was serious. Either way, Mary said it would cost us. As well it should. Mary’s a big deal around here.

So we never took her picture.

She plopped down next to us, 2 rows behind the Mariner dugout, in Peoria’s 80-degree heat. Dave and I had beers and brats in hand. I was snapping pics and texting my family when she came down the steps to her seat.

I focused on the brat. That was before we met Mary.

“I’m Bill, this is Dave.” 

She reached to shake hands. “My name’s Mary. I’m 90 years old, and I’ve had season tickets to Spring Training since they opened this park 30 years ago.”

Mary had our attention.

Continue reading “Something about Mary…”

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2020 Ex-Mariner of the Year… late but worth it

Sorry, teacher, we’re a year late.

The 2020 Ex-Mariner of the Year announcement was all set for February 2021. It was a campaign marked by the deepest dive we’ve ever taken here at Playin’ in the Dirt. We searched MLB postseason rosters… added a Ross Eversoles bracket for guys still gripped by the game somewhere you’ve never heard of… an offshore bonus bracket for ex-M’s in foreign lands… we even put in a special folksong bracket for Ex-Mariners named Abraham, Martín, and Juan. And Robi.

So there we were, a year ago, ready to unleash the big announcement. Seriously. It was ready to go. No, teacher, the dog didn’t eat our homework. It was something way worse.

Kevin Mather, former Mariner CEO, goes off the rails
Absolutely, totally, unequivocally not the Ex-Mariner of the Year. (Bellevue Breakfast Rotary)

It was #thatman. Kevin Mather. Voldemort. He Who Shouldn’t Even Have Been Named Again here on these pages.

Continue reading “2020 Ex-Mariner of the Year… late but worth it”

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We got a front runner!

Yes, we got us a front runner.  …but he stands on the brink as we write this.

It’s a week into the postseason, but it only took us a day to wonder just what the hell is going on. The box score of the Yankees-Red Sox wild card game contained exactly zero ex-Mariners on either squad. For a couple of teams that regularly feature former M’s like Varitek while we slobber over bums like Slocumb… wait, we digress.

The next night, the Dodgers-Cards matchup, was a different story, wasn’t it? Continue reading “We got a front runner!”

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Ex-Mariner of the Year is NOT…

Kevin Mather, former Mariner CEO, goes off the rails

…this guy. But you’d think so, right? After four days of turmoil from the Bellevue Breakfast Rotary to youtube to a curious fan named Eric Hess (@SeattleSunDvl) into the Twittersphere to OMG he didn’t really say that to #ByeFelicia for a guy at the top of the Mariners power pyramid – after all that, he seemed like the obvious pick. For sure… now that he’s an ex-Mariner.

But the Ex-Mariner Committee had to put the whole thing on pause, even with the contest decided and the announcement prepared (spoiler: Caribbean Series Champs). It’s just gonna have to wait.

Continue reading “Ex-Mariner of the Year is NOT…”

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Ex-Mariner of the Year: Ross Eversoles Bracket

The page is brown. It’s fifty years old, of course, half a century since I slid a buck and a quarter of lawn mowing money across the counter in Jess Ruttles’ Port Gamble General Store, when Mom turned her back to grab a couple cans of chili. Half a century since a book changed me forever.

No filter. The page has faded but the final words of Ball Four are as true as ever. Copyright – the late Jim Bouton.

It’s brown with age, and it’s brown from flipping to the end countless times in those fifty years.

“…would I do that? When it’s over for me, would I be hanging on with the Ross Eversoles?”

Do you think, when Jim Bouton wrote those words, paused, held his pen over the paper, deciding what to write next… Do you think he knew they’d lead into the greatest closing line of any book ever?

Continue reading “Ex-Mariner of the Year: Ross Eversoles Bracket”

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Ex-Mariner of the Year — MLB postseason bracket

Our home team boys packed up their stuff and left town in September. But 25 ex-Mariners didn’t go home when the 2020 postseason started. Instead, gracing the rosters of new squads, they girded their respective loins for a World Series run. Only one would earn the ring. But would that be enough to garner the coveted Ex-Mariner of the Year (Xmoty)? Let’s revisit the top candidates.

Felix: You think they do this kinda stuff in Atlanta?

Alert and devoted reader Steve from Spokane suggested way back in August that the opted-out Felix Hernandez was a fabulous candidate for Xmoty honors. But Steve, we said, Felix didn’t even play this year. Took himself off the roster. It was the Rona. Exactly, said Steve. And if Atlanta goes deep in October without him, doesn’t he deserve recognition for staying the hell out of the way? Great point, Steve. The Braves went on to lead the NLCS 3 games to 1 but coughed up the series to the Dodgers. How might that have played with the King in the house? Steve seems to know the answer. We’re not so sure over here.

Continue reading “Ex-Mariner of the Year — MLB postseason bracket”

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Ex-Mariner of the Year, Abraham-Martín-Juan bracket

First in a series: vote now!

If you’re not into Sixties folk/protest memes, try this before reading:

Wouldn’t you know. Here in Seattle, we just looked around, they were gone. And now they’re back. Back on the diamond. In another country.

In their bids to succeed Fernando Rodney and his 2019 World Series ring as 2020’s greatest ex-Mariner, four of our old favorites have worked their way into contention. Please attempt to sing along in Dion Marucci’s voice and melody: Continue reading “Ex-Mariner of the Year, Abraham-Martín-Juan bracket”

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Mariner playoff rosters!

Here we go!

Twenty-five guys, a perfect postseason roster, fill the ranks of this year’s playoff teams’ 40-man rosters. Plus a former Mariner ace on IR, another who chose not to play under Rona Risk, and a couple honorable mentionables. Some of these guys are “who?” …and as of this writing, just 24 hours into the postseason, a few have already gone south on Elimination Street. But laugh as we may at them now, they each took their season farther than Jerry’s Boys from Dave Niehaus Avenue. Read ’em and wonder. Click the names for stats and such. Continue reading “Mariner playoff rosters!”

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Ex-Mariner of the Year: Early Leader

“You’ve got a great case there,” says my own Adult Son, which bears eerie similarity to the name our buddies at Lookout Landing pinned on Daniel Vogelbach even before he first filled the clubhouse doorway at Safeco Field.*

And boy could he fill a doorway. An even six feet, he weighed in at two-fifty and immediately endeared himself with his teammates when he reenacted Chris Farley’s Chippendale routine on Rookie Night.

Now THAT is a Large Adult Son.

Continue reading “Ex-Mariner of the Year: Early Leader”